Amateur Parenting

O's trip to the pediatrician (1-25-11)

2011-02-25T12:59:00.000-08:00

Height 37" (60%)

Weight 31 lbs (50%)

BMI 15.9%, 50%

Holiday videos

2010-12-30T03:18:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kP-AuwE96N4

Tutu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Bh5TtxtZkE

Dancing to DVDs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEASHJzuAxc

Building a tower

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP5Z7aX8oCo

building a tower (TA-DA!!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXCthOE8rqA

Is this the end of O's ski career?

2010-12-28T16:02:00.001-08:00

O has had a lot of fun at my parents house. My brother and sister took her in the backyard and blew bubbles and played in the wagon on her first day here. She came in and said 'I had a FUN day!'

On the second day, she watched the musical scenes from the 'Sound of Music.' While watching, she said 'This is so much, so much fun.'

However, when we asked 'Did you have fun playing in the snow,' her response was the less than ringing endorsement 'shi hen lěng' ('it's very cold.')

Christmas Tree

2010-12-23T15:59:00.000-08:00

My mother has carefully collected beautiful and charming Christmas ornaments over the years. O loves my mother's Christmas tree. Every few hours, she will arrive in the kitchen holding a new ornament and ask 'Can I take this one home?'

Dinner helper

2010-11-30T22:51:00.000-08:00

O has been trained by S (who does most of the cooking) to say 'Thank you making me dinner, Daddy' before she begins to eat.

Tonight, she helped S make dinner (stirred the stir fry.) When we sat down to eat, she turns to me and ordered "You say 'Thank you making me dinner O__."

Yesterday

2010-11-24T06:47:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, leaving the house in the rain

Me (to S): I really need to buy some rain boots.

O: "Mommy, you buy ladybug boots like my ladybug boots?"

Later, after opening a birthday gift of some beautiful colored pencils.

Me: I like your pencils

O: This mine. Maybe I buy dem for you.

Me: Really, you'll buy me some pencils?

O: Maybe I buy dem for you when you're older.

Guest Blogger Margaret Visits Again

2010-11-16T22:15:00.000-08:00

K - It's me, guest blogger, Margaret again!

I visited Olivia over Halloween, and saw her as a Lion - one that
would roar for you.

What else happened?

Well, I went to her daycare to watch her, and she came to me right
away, and started to walk out with me, when I told her that I was
actually there for circle time. Her mood completely changed, and she
was silent. Through the entire circle time. Her teacher encouraged
her to get up and sing and dance, but she sat in my lap, turned her
head and wouldn't participate. Then she said something to O in
Chinese. I didn't understand what she said, but Olivia nodded her head
and finally stood up. The teacher pulled out flashcards to quiz her
on. For some reason, Olivia loves flashcards. She was able to
identify 57 of them which was something like 80% of the cards.

Olivia loves to go to the park. She loves to sing and dance.

Another day, we picked her up and woke her in the middle of a nap. She
was silent the entire time in the car, and seemed about to cry many
times. Finally, she said --- "I don't WANT to be grumpy!!! ---"

I purchased some US children's songs from her, as I know she is headed
to preschool next year, and I thought it might help her learn American
songs along with her Chinese songs. On her last day, we played a game
where I would sing "If you're happy and you know it --- " and Olivia
would do whatever I told her to do --- "clap your hands, pretend to
cry, tap your head, make a funny face, laugh out loud" Then I started
to have fun - "wrinkle your nose" (she used her fingers to move her
nose), "blink your eyes", the best was "speak chinese" where she came
up with Chinese phrases to say.

Her birthday was a lot of fun. She had a lot of friends over, and we
had pizza and cake, and she got a lot of gifts. She was still opening
one gift per day when I left.

video from 11/4

2010-11-04T22:39:00.000-07:00

video from 11/4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWBR1CSTFtI

Where is O developmentally?

2010-10-05T22:19:00.000-07:00

http://www.nncc.org/child.dev/ages.stages.3y.html

Ha! My kid can stack 10 blocks.

But can't name her colors, hmmm..

10/3

2010-10-05T12:10:00.000-07:00

J: Olivia, do you want to watch Dora?

O: Yes! Yes! I want to watch Dora Car.

J: (showing Olivia the three Dora DVDs to let her choose.)

O: "I want this one. It is my favorite."

I don't know why I'm impressed that Olivia understands the concept of 'favorite.'

O the _fill in the blank_

2010-05-01T21:26:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of how much stuff O brought on a recent walk -- 2 bags (each containing a stuffed animal) and a basket full of random stuff. Fill in the blank with what she reminds me of but is too politically incorrect to mention here.

On that note, I'm ceasing publication of O pics to this blog and will be posting to Facebook instead (I have all of the sudden started freaking out about web privacy.)

O-isms, April 2010

2010-04-30T22:24:00.000-07:00

April

'I don't want it home' (her response to "Okay, it's time to go home.")

Loves pickled red onions.

O has stopped cheering for daddy when he wins a game of chess.

Getting better, but not yet consistent with the potty.

In early April, would refuse to wear jeans or dark colored pants as she thought they were 'boy pants'

Says 'Hoood Nite' (instead of 'Good night')

Likes to sing into a microphone. I have no idea where she learned to do this. Are they watching Hannah Montana at daycare?

Had a fun easter egg hunt with her brother and her cousins.

Got her bangs cut while visiting Oma and Puppy.

Oma also taught her to answer the question 'How old are you.' ('2') Unfortunately, this is also her answer to the question 'What's your name?'

Can't go anywhere without 2-3 bags full of random stuff.

Says 'Oh, thank you' (which S loves.)

Points to my seat belt and says 'Mommy, this one' when we get into the car.

Can get herself dressed (albeit very slowly -- 1.5 hour to get her pajamas on last night.)

Counting with Olivia

2010-04-20T22:53:00.000-07:00

5 objects on page.
"1,2,3" (skips two objects.)

3 objects on page.
1,2,3,4 (counts one object twice)

6 objects on page.
1,2,3,4 (skips 3 objects and counts one object twice.)

You get the idea.

I'm sorry

2010-04-17T20:33:00.000-07:00

Olivia has been a bully at daycare a couple times, and our care providers have been teaching her to say 'I'm sorry' after she pushes or grabs toys from other kids.

Last week, I was giving Olivia a shower. She cried, whined, and fussed for a long time, which caused me much frustration at the end of a long work day. At the end of her shower, she said 'Sorry Mommy.'

I got ready to start bragging on Facebook. My child is already emotionally intelligent enough to apologize when she frustrates me. Take that, 2 year old who is able to read!

The following day, she started saying sorry more often. When I made her get dressed. When I made her leave the playground. When I wouldn't let her play with matches. It turns out that Olivia says 'Sorry' not when she's sorry, but when she doesn't get her way. Which makes it kind of funny that the daycare providers think they've achieved something by teaching her to say "Sorry"

Did I just blow my chances of getting into a good pre-school by posting this?

Olivia Milestones, Q1 2010

2010-04-01T16:56:00.000-07:00

I'm a little behind in posting (mostly because whatever I thought about posting sounded really boring even to me.)

But I thought that I should document some Olivia milestones:

January 2010: Started walking up stairs on alternating feet.

February 2010: Saw (and played in) snow for the first time. Didn't like it that much initially (got a big face full of snow when sledding with Daddy on a powder day.) Had a blast playing with a friend and her mother on our second trip to the snow. I bought a pair of used kiddie snow boots and can't wait to teach her how to ski (remind me I said this next year when I am dragging a screaming toddler down a green run.)

March 2010: Had her first 4 word sentence. I don't remember what it was. I think Olivia is a little behind in language development but Spencer keeps making excuses for her (Spencer -- 'She's bilingual!' Joyce -- 'Yeah, she speaks English and broken English')

The return of GUEST BLOGGER Margaret

2010-03-25T22:52:00.000-07:00

So here I am --- mainly because I am tired of reading Joyce's boring parenting Network Rants, and well, I seem to have more free time these days. Maybe joyce will help out by spicing up this blog with some photos.

Olivia is at an age now where she is learning her numbers and ABCs by sight. The only problem is that she gets some numbers and letters confused, and is also very stubborn. Here is a sample conversation with Olivia from February:

Joyce and Olivia are Reading a Book, "Olivia Counts" together.

Olivia says "1" on the first page. So far, so good.

They get to the 2nd page, and it is the number 2, with a curlicue, so Olivia says "SIX!".

Joyce: "No, that's a 2." Olivia again: "SIX!"

Joyce: "That's a 2."

Olivia won't back down. She looks straight at joyce and says "6, Mommy!" and Joyce says, "2, Baby!"

Then, to prove her point, Joyce points to the page and says "2. See --- (pointing to the objects) 1 --- 2 - TWO!".

Olivia then points to objects on the page (there are NOT 6 objects) and says - "1 -- 2 -- 3 -- 4 --- SIX!".

-----------

Apparently, she did the same thing with the number "1" and the letter "I" when my mother was visiting. She finally agreed that my mom was right after my mom showed her the "1" and "I" in context.

Parenting is hard

2010-03-10T09:27:00.000-08:00

From today's BPN ...

Wow, as if I didn't have enough anxiety about leaving Olivia somewhere all day with kids 3x her age.

---------------------------
Review for a well known, well respected pre-school

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I cannot recommend XXXXXXXXXXXX as well, had to chime in.
XXXXXXX is a family-owned business. The
location is beautiful and we liked the philosophy too.
We did not get support from teachers or director when we
thought our child should have been moved (from the 'big kid' class to the toddler class)... He
loved to run with the big boys who in turn 'bowled him
over'. He was teased about potty training and picked on
in class time after time.
I was shocked to see no interaction by teachers in the
play yard. My son was bitten by one of the biggest kids,
a 4 year old, no teachers were present at the time to stop
the escalating bad behavior. I learned that at times there
was no supervision in the yard after 3:00 p.m.
The yard is chaotic and you should visit unexpectedly to
check this out.

Crotchety ranting: "Architecture"

2010-01-27T21:43:00.000-08:00

Ugh, I hate industrial chic. (My friend M tells me that I can go ahead and use this blog as a forum for my crotchety ranting.)

The latest adventures of the breast feeding mafia

2010-01-27T20:45:00.000-08:00

The NYTimes Motherlode blog reports that the International Breast Milk project is engaging in an effort to send breast milk to Haiti. If you had a plane and resources on the ground to get food to needy families, wouldn't it be far more efficient (and less wasteful) to get clean water and food to women who are able to nurse, and maybe even, gasp... formula for the kids whose mothers are not able to nurse?

(Addenda: Jan 28) As you can see, I was skeptical of the value of loading a plane with highly perishable breast milk on dry ice, rather than food and water...), so I dug deeper into the motivation for seeking breast milk donations

"... after the Asian ts unami of 2004. According to the Emergency Nutrition Network, some 72% of families with infants received donated baby formula. The result was a dramatic decline in breastfeeding and a tripling of diarrheal diseases among babies, the British group concluded. "People are really well-meaning, and it's a very difficult concept for people to grasp," said lactation consultant Gina Ciagne. "But breastfeeding is going to be so much better."

That seems to make a little more sense. In addition, formula is friggin expensive and the last thing most Haitian families need is a kid who will only drink formula. And an adult human could survive 2 weeks without food, but a newborn baby could not. So I take back what I said about breastmilk being an inefficient use of cargo space.

Sleep Training, and other unnecessary parenting worries

2010-01-25T22:25:00.000-08:00

If I had to do it all over again, I would have never let myself near Berkeley Parents Network when I was a new mom. Sure I got a lot of great used stuff at great prices, but at the price of adding a lot of stress to my life. BPN is full of parents who are worried that they are doing the wrong thing with their kids, or that their kid is or isn't doing something.

Many parenting topics are like religion -- there are no right and wrong answers, the best approach is the one that works for the parents and the child. And while there is the occasional kid who actually has development problems, most kids are just picking up things at their own pace.

There are 2786 titles on Amazon on the topic of 'Sleep Training' and 300 titles on weaning. Interestingly, there are also 118 titles on 'Overparenting.' I have to admit that Spencer was right that kids eventually grow up on their own and that you don't have to worry too much about about co-sleeping, weaning, sleep training. I hope he's right about potty training too.

Oliviaisms: Eating

2010-01-25T22:01:00.000-08:00

For now, Olivia is an adventurous eater and thinks she's missing out if she sees you eating something that you haven't offered her. Yesterday I was preparing a bowl of pickled onions as a condiment for a dish that Spencer was making. I taste tested one of the onions, then heard a little voice below me saying 'That, that' and pointing to the bowl. After getting a bite of onion, she said 'I like it.'

Bad Mother?

2010-01-24T18:00:00.000-08:00

I'm embarrassed to admit that I regularly read mommy blogs. What has become of me?

Anyway, in one of the parenting blogs I read, the author identified 'Calling yourself a bad mom' as one of the 'Top parenting trends for 2009'

The author comments that 'the amusing thing about this trend is that all these parents who think they're so bad really aren't bad at all.' I've read a few of these so called ' bad mommy' blogs and I will go one step further to say ... 'Get over yourself. Calling yourself a bad parent is like Heidi Klum calling herself fat.'

Has parenting has become so competitive that a mom has to be apologetic if she doesn't feed her kids 100% organic food. When did putting your kid in front of the TV become a reason to call Social Services?

Classic Tantrums: My lunch

2010-01-24T04:10:00.000-08:00

My sister commented on the last episode, 'Could the tantrum have been avoided if you had asked Olivia if you could share?' Yesterday's tantrum may shed some light on that question. Olivia and I went to the hot food bar at Whole Foods for lunch today. I got a large plate of food for us to share. She was a good girl. Even though she was hungry with big eyes as we put chicken and macaroni and cheese on the plate, she patiently waited for us to pay. We sat down to eat and I said 'Olivia, will you share this food with Mommy,' she immediately pulled the plate away from me and said 'MINE.' I decided to just let her have the food (and that I would eat whatever was left,) but it was too late -- the crying episode had started. After letting her cry for 5 (10?) minutes, I distracted her by taking her outside to visit a dog. She was happy, but the unhappiness resumed when we sat down again. She eventually started eating and all was fine.

I had definitely thought about getting two separate plates of food while in the hot bar line. I made the risk assessment of a potential tantrum against trying to handle 2 plates and an independently minded toddler in a grocery store. I know now to weigh the tantrum more heavily in future calculations.

Rookie move

2010-01-21T15:17:00.001-08:00

I made a rookie move and scheduled a pediatrician appt the same time that Olivia usually naps. She is sure to be one happy camper (it's a shot heavy appointment.)

Classic Tantrum Episode #1: My Spinach

2010-01-20T22:14:00.000-08:00

We had pizza for dinner on Sunday. I ordered a spinach and feta pizza, and Olivia picked the spinach off the pizza and left it on the side of her plate.

Monday: We made leftover pizza for lunch. Olivia was fussy while eating it, so I did her a favor and picked the spinach off and ate it. Wrong move. Apparently, the spinach was more than just a condiment, me eating it launched a 20 minutes tantrum.

About 15 minutes into the tantrum (and a time out,) she stuck her hand into my mouth and dug around for the spinach that I had taken from her. This was really funny. (The thing about most toddler tantrums is that they are pretty amusing if you are not late for a doctor appointment or work.)

Now, your opportunity to be an armchair parent. Use the comments field to tell me how I should have handled the situation.

Oliviaisms: Pizza and the Reverse Atkins diet

2010-01-19T05:34:00.000-08:00

When we get pizza, Olivia eats the cheese (and licks the sauce) off the pizza but leaves the crust.

New Feature -- Classic Tantrums

2010-01-18T21:43:00.001-08:00

In this new blog feature, we'll document classic moments with defiant and insistent Olivia. Unlike previous features 'Judgmental parent roundtable,' 'Olivia-isms,' and 'Classics from BPN,' we're likely to have plenty of material to keep this feature going.

Some background -- Olivia has been in the terrible twos for some time. She is insistent that she has do to things by herself -- get into the car by herself, choose her outfits, get up and down from her chair, close the door.

As an example, if we try to put her into the carseat, she will jump not only out of her seat but out of the car so that she can do it herself. We usually succumb (a la 'choose your battles' school of parenting.)

Most of the literature attributes toddler tantrums to the child being at a crossroads of becoming independent and not being able to communicate. We may be in trouble, as Olivia's language skills are a bit behind for her cohort.

Feel free to use the comments field to give us guidance on not spoiling the kid (but maintaining our sanity -- i.e., giving in.)

Spencer Scissorhands

2010-01-16T21:02:00.000-08:00

Spencer and I both often have to work on weekends. Often, I'll watch Olivia since Spencer's weekend work usually involves table saws and nail guns. Needless to say, I don't get as much done as I would like. So, when Spencer offered to take Olivia to the office last weekend, I jumped at the chance to get caught up on some work and home projects.

As a side story, I had been wanting to take Olivia for a haircut for months, but Spencer loved her long hair and wanted to be there for her first haircut. Trying to be a good partner, I resisted the urge to take Olivia to get a cute over the shoulder uni-length bob cut for months.

Imagine my dismay when Olivia returned home from work that day with bangs poking out of her little hat.

I'm not sure what the next steps should be ... maybe getting the rest of her hair cut shorter (a la Suri Cruise @ 24 months?)

More SFgate fun

2009-12-29T23:28:00.000-08:00

More fun from the comments on SFgate. Those who choose the childless route hate the whiny toddlers, the property owners hate the renters, and in the case of this article, everyone hates the hipsters.

Olivia-isms: The reprimanding finger

2009-12-28T23:12:00.001-08:00

Today's Olivia-ism -- the reprimanding finger. When Olivia is trying to make a point, she often uses the 'reprimanding finger.' For example, when I try to get her to wake Daddy up, she says, "Daddy sleeping," while pointing a scolding index finger at me. Clearly she learned the reprimanding finger from her daycare providers (she must get in trouble a lot at daycare.) No video, so you will have to trust me that it's funny to get lectured by a 2 year old.

Yeah, this new feature is corny, but this blog is aimed at the 4 people (i.e, my immediate family) who care about the little details in Olivia's life. (it might only be three people as I'm not sure my brother actually cares about this level of minutiae.)

Bridge to Nowhere

2009-12-26T19:58:00.000-08:00

It astounds me that the bay bridge bike lane has passed, with a projected cost in the $200-300 million range. Wouldn't solutions like this make more sense? No wonder California is in a serious deficit.

Move over Elmo

2009-12-24T04:45:00.000-08:00

Olivia has been watching a lot of Christmas specials lately and her new favorite character is Santa (move over Elmo.) We made an effort to take Olivia to see Santa. As you can see, it took Olivia two trips to warm up to the idea of visiting Santa. On the first trip she was both frightened and puzzled. On the second trip she was just puzzled. I attribute it to the significantly higher beard quality of the second Santa.

Etsy and Regretsy

2009-12-09T22:17:00.000-08:00

If you are a fan of etsy (like me), you also need to check out this site

Joyce

Kids on planes, part II

2009-12-07T22:14:00.001-08:00

Before I get myself kicked off a plane or am categorized in the kid-hater group, I should clarify my position on ejecting unruly kids from flights. I wasn't on the flight that this woman got kicked off from, so I don't know whether her kid was disruptive of just annoying. I also don't know whether the flight attendant was being excessively intolerant or just trying to get the flight off the ground. Olivia has certainly had her share of in-flight meltdowns so I am definitely not in the 'seen but not heard' camp.

I think it's a matter of extremes -- if a kid is being so disruptive that they're having trouble getting the flight off the ground in spite of the best efforts of the parents and the flight attendants, by all means ask the parent to take a later flight. I maintain that domestic airlines would gain a lot by taking small steps to be more kid friendly (come on, there had to be a chocolate chip cookie somewhere on that flight.)

Sweeps week debate -- kids on planes

2009-12-05T05:59:00.000-08:00

My father sent me a link to this article today with one writer's take on kids on planes.

"There is a notion, reflected in numerous blog comments about the incident, that other passengers should "just deal" and "give a kid a break." This notion is wrong. Parents like Root and others who selfishly force the rest of us to pay the cost of their choices in life aren't just bothering us; they're stealing from us. Most people don't see it this way, because what they're stealing isn't a thing we can grab on to, like a wallet. They're stealing our attention, our time and our peace of mind."

It must be sweeps week because this blog post on kids in fancy restaurants also appeared this week in SFGate.

I think posts such as this are designed solely to get people to leave comments (one of the more useful web metrics for engagement.) It's like religion -- neither party is going to change (well, until they have kids.)

I think that parents should control their kids during the flight (especially during preparations for a departure) and that it's not wrong to eject a passenger with a uncontrollable child from a flight if the plane has not taken off yet. At least, I believe that until I am forced to spend the night at O'Hare. I also think that it's the flight attendants job to do more to help passengers with children and offer assistance or suggestions before asking a passenger to leave a flight.

"Reading" with Olivia

2009-12-02T21:56:00.000-08:00

As previously mentioned in this blog, we believe that the daycare providers used TV as a daycare tool much more than they let on. The first giveaway was reading a Sesame Street book with Olivia and realizing that she was able to name all of the muppets, even the obscure ones. The second giveaway was when she started sprinting for the TV room as soon as we dropped her off each morning.

Knowing Olivia's love of Elmo, my parents and sister bought Olivia this book for Christmas. She loves it, it is her go-to book for reading time.

Unfortunately, I'm not such a fan. But why should I be the only one tortured? Here's a transcript of a typical reading of "Guess Who Elmo"

"O... M.... L (pointing to the "E") ... "E" (pointing to the "L")

Then, pointing to the characters
"Elmo"
"Zoey"
"Cookie Monster."

"Zoey"
"Duck"
"Elmo"

"Nose" (pointing to the knob on the cookie jar lid)
"Cookie Monster"
"Elmo"
"Zoey"

"Berd"
"Worm" (points to the picture of the worm in Big Bird's book.)
"Berd"
"See, see, Berd"
"Elmo"
"Zoey"
"Cookie Monster"

What do you think? Will this book will stunt Olivia's language development, leaving her incapable of learning words other than the names of muppets?

Olivia picture

2009-11-27T09:38:00.000-08:00

Olivia's first art project

2009-11-26T09:37:00.000-08:00

Olivia made her first art project at daycare yesterday (presumably with some help)

Olivia

2009-11-26T09:36:00.000-08:00

Olivia starts a new daycare

2009-11-26T08:46:00.000-08:00

We put Olivia in a new daycare last week. We were nervous about changing Olivia's situation (the parenting books all say that consistency with child care providers is very important to children.) But Olivia was getting too old to spend over 2 hours commuting every day. I took a day off work on Monday as her transition day (the thought being that I would leave her for only 3 hours on her first day.) On the way to the daycare, I told her that we were taking her to a new place to meet new friends. She looked a little nervous, but repeated 'new friends' to me as if she understood what was going on.

When we arrived at the daycare, Olivia immediately settled in and started playing. Another new girl was there with her father (who also stuck around to help ease the transition.) She started crying uncontrollably when her father left (she has been at home with her stay at home mom for 2 years.)

I wasn't planning to leave but stood up from the ground. Olivia immediately said 'Bye bye' and went about her business. (Even the grandma at the daycare was impressed by how confident and comfortable Olivia was in a new place.)

When I arrived to pick her up 3 hours later, she was pretty cranky. The teacher told me that Olivia had tried to steal the other children's blankets at naptime. (As we know, Olivia likes A LOT of blankets when she sleeps.)

I picked her up on the third day and she seems to have settled in well. She was excited to see me (and wanted to show me the piano,) but sat on my lap during storytime. She also ran up to the mini tables and chairs during coloring time. As we were walking out, she held both hands up to her head and said 'Hat!' (Even I didn't remember that she was wearing a hat that morning.)

We're pretty excited about the new daycare. There is a lot more outdoors and free play time than her former daycare. There's a playstructure and large sandbox on the premises, and they have one of those 6 seat strollers for outings to the playground. There is also story time and singing (the main teacher is a former preschool teacher.)

Update -- Olivia Halloween

2009-11-06T08:53:00.000-08:00

We had a fun Halloween with Olivia. My parents came from Pennsylvania to visit and take her trick or treating.

In August, I saw a cute Cal Cheerleader outfit at Target. I thought it would be a cute Halloween costume for Olivia (we could put her hair in pigtails and give her pom poms.) I decided that I would just come back later to buy it, since Olivia doesn't know what a cheerleader is and it might be more fun to dress her as something she knows, like a lion or a chicken drumstick.

Of course, by the time I finally got around to going to Target, the costume was sold out. I bought a cow costume instead, which Olivia refused to wear.

She did wear her sequined bunny ears. Her 8 year old friend Mia was sweet to share Halloween with Olivia and took her trick or treating (with the Luhs and Knight's following.) Olivia seemed to understand the concept walking up to doors and ringing the bell thing (she's well practiced from day care.) When people answered their door with a bowl of candy, Olivia tried to walk into their houses. Olivia wasn't able to say 'Trick or Treat', but she was able to say 'Thank you' and 'Bye bye.'

Maybe next year she will understand the concept, and agree to wear a costume.

More highlights from BPN

2009-11-04T21:59:00.000-08:00

I know it is a weak economy, but this guy sounds like a cheapskate and not anyone I'd want my teenage daughter working for -- he wants someone to come only if the kid isn't napping?

And come on, call it what it is -- babysitting. Playing with a kid while a parent is home is as much (if not more work) than if they aren't home. If the parents are home, there is NO opportunity to put on DVDs or TV.

''Mother's Helper'' sought for 2yr old (South Berkeley)
-----------------------------------------------
We are seeking a ''Mother's Helper'' to help look after our son on
Tue/Thur from 3:30-5:30. Our 2 YO son is very playful and
fun-loving. Mom works at home in the afternoons, and needs help
watching son while she is working (that's why this is a ''Mother's
Helper'' position rather than ''Babysitter''). Care would involve
mostly playing with our son around the house and yard.

We are looking for someone who is responsible, mature, and
willing to be flexible. You would need to be ''on call'' because
some days our son takes a long afternoon nap (this is
unpredictable), and we don't need the help. We ask that you call
before 3:00 on that particular day to find out if he is napping
and you don't need to come (this might be the case 20% of the time?).

This is an ideal position for teenager looking to get childcare
experience. There may be potential for other occ. afternoons or
evenings. Pay for this job is $8/hour. Our home is on Alcatraz
Ave in South Berkeley. Need someone who can get to our house on
his/her own.
Contact: XXX/XXXX

GUEST BLOGGER: Margaret

2009-10-19T16:21:00.000-07:00

I visited Olivia last week and got to observe her little quirks and personality.

1. She won’t let you leave anyone behind. One time, Joyce was on the phone on the street, and I needed to move the car about a foot (with Olivia inside), and Olivia started SCREAMING – “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” and crying. She watches the stragglers, too, and she stays behind, screaming, if she thinks we forgot someone.

2. She LOVES music and dancing. Spencer and Joyce have taught her only two songs – “Twinkle Twinkle” and ABCs.

3. She's the boss. “Daddy ABC!!!” means that dad needs to sing the ABC song for her. It's no longer good enough that she gets what she wants (e.g., a bottle.) If she wants her mother to make her bottle push away whoever is making it and say “Nooo --- Mommy bottle!”

4. She LOVES Maisy. One morning, I heard her wake up and read out loud to herself - I heard her flipping pages and saying “Maisy! Up, Up, Up… Bye Bye!” She also suggests which book to read by saying 'How bout Maisy?' or 'How bout Gerla?' (Good Night Gorilla)

5. She likes to carry her purse with her and fill it with as many books as possible – she can say “heavy!”. She takes it in the car with her, and then insists on taking it to wherever we are going. Joyce usually ends up carrying it.

More highlights from Margaret's visit

2009-10-19T13:59:00.001-07:00

Olivia dancing.

More material for Olivia's future therapy sessions

2009-10-11T21:15:00.000-07:00

Olivia's Aunt Margaret arrived in town late last night. It's been great having Margaret here, Olivia has been receiving presents every 15 minutes and we are thrilled to have Margaret here to entertain Olivia.

Margaret took Olivia to the playground this afternoon. The minute they returned, Olivia took off her shoes and said 'Elmo?' Since Olivia had already watched an hour of TV today, I told her 'No,' at which point she started crying uncontrollably. After a protracted crying fit and two time outs, she figured out that we weren't going to let her watch more TV today.

About an hour later, we asked Margaret how the trip to the playground went. "Olivia was having lots of fun. The only way that I could get her to leave was to say 'If we leave, we can go home and watch Elmo.'"

Sesame Street

2009-10-10T16:49:00.000-07:00

We record Sesame Street on the DVR and let Olivia watch when we need downtime. Either we need a lot of downtime or her daycare provider has figured out the same trick, as she knows a lot of the characters from the show (remember, the new Sesame Street has a lot of filler between the cool muppets.) Last night, we were at Spencer's parents house and Olivia brought a Sesame Street book that she had found at their house. Turning the pages, ...

'Bert!' (when she saw Bert.)

'Bert' (when she saw Ernie)

'Coo Kie' (when she saw Cookie Monster.)

And when she saw the Count, 'Cowt. One Two. Ha ha ha ha ha'

Bad Mother

2009-10-09T21:11:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I discussed an article from the Sfgate 'Poop' blog, 'Judgmental Parenting Roundtable'. Since the JP Roundtable has been on hiatus of late, I'll need to come up with my own articles, stories, parenting methods, and people to be judgmental about.

There is no question that this woman is a bad mother (and a really bad person).

I have too much time on my hands.

2009-10-08T04:05:00.001-07:00

One of my guilty pleasures is reading sfgate.com, the web home of the San Francisco Chronicle. I especially enjoy reading the comments because I enjoy getting a pulse on what other people in the Bay Area think about various divisive topics. Occasionally I get engrossed in a particular topic and feel guilty about having way too much time on my hands. The house is a mess, there are stacks of unfolded laundry, I should be rebalancing my 401K and yet I have time to read 3 pages of comments on a blog posting like this one. I lost interest after about 30 comments, but was amazed that 167 people have commented on how they feel about the new Whole Foods in Noe Valley. Are our lives really that boring that a grocery store becomes a heated topic? Have my brain cells degenerated so much that I consider this to be a lively debate?

There goes Daddy's plan to learn German

2009-09-28T12:15:00.000-07:00

Olivia bedtime routine

2009-09-27T12:12:00.001-07:00

Here are some better pictures to give you a sense of how much stuff Olivia likes to have in her crib with her when she goes to bed.

Two standard sized pillows
One quilt
One baby blanket
A set of finger puppets
3 books

Guest Blogger: Spencer

2009-09-25T06:45:00.000-07:00

Joyce seems determined that I write an entry in her blog about our daughter. I have so far resisted, as I'm not much of a writer. However, in the past week perhaps the most exciting thing in months has happened in the Knight household. Something we have been hoping for from the beginning. Something that EVERY parent looks forward to seeing! "What is that moment" you may be asking?

Olivia went potty in her potty.

Not just number one mind you, she's been doing that for a few weeks. No, she went number 2! And in fact she did it again this morning. 22 months old, and using the potty fairly consistently. Its a wonderful and momentous occassion, and we're all very excited and proud of Olivia. She's also very proud of herself, and loves to come get us and bring us in to the bathroom to display the results of her effort. We in turn give her a lot of praise and encouragement towards her newest endeavor.

Pics from the weekend

2009-09-21T22:37:00.000-07:00

As a tired working parent, I'll do anything to get my kid to fall asleep. I have succumbed to fulfilling Olivia's request to have all of the pillows and blankets from the twin bed in the crib with her as she falls asleep.

Other exciting news from the weekend -- Olivia's buddy from daycare turned 2 and invited her to his birthday party.

Maybe this will cure Olivia of her Elmo addiction

2009-09-14T22:36:00.000-07:00

Maybe this will cure Olivia of her Elmo addiction.

Chapter 22: I learn why you don't bring kids to the store

2009-09-11T22:47:00.000-07:00

It was either this card or a temper tantrum at Target. I suppose I got off relatively easily (it could have been a $40 Tickle me Elmo.)

I suspect that I won't be taking Olivia anywhere near the grocery store once she figures out what candy is.

Potty training?

2009-09-09T22:27:00.000-07:00

Several times during Labor day weekend, Olivia would resist getting a diaper put on and sit on her potty chair instead.

We were excited that this might be a first step toward potty training, and we took turns sitting with her in the bathroom. We also let her run around without a diaper.

After spending what seemed like an hour in the bathroom, she peed the minute she jumped on the couch with Spencer.

After a few hours, we finally figured out that Olivia had outsmarted us. She had figured out that she could run around without a diaper if she pretended that she was interested in using a toilet.

She might have gotten away with it, if it hadn't been for the accident on the couch and the puddle in the kitchen.

Towel

2009-09-08T22:18:00.001-07:00

Olivia loves being wrapped in a towel (like a swaddled baby) after a bath. She also likes to wear the towel around the house and will continually bring the towel over and say 'Towel, towel' or 'More towel' if the towel falls off.

Olivia's Pediatrician Appt (August 20)

2009-09-05T15:35:00.002-07:00

Here are the stats from Olivia's last pediatrician appointment (August 20)

Height -- 33 inches (75th percentile)
Weight -- 23 lbs 4 oz (20th percentile)
Head circumference -- 47.5 cm (75th percentile)

I'm not really sure why there are so many pediatrician appointments in the first two years. When I once tried to schedule a late well visit, the receptionist told me that if insurance did not cover the appointment, the cost would be around 500 or 600 dollars. While I know that insurance companies pay a negotiated rate, that still seems high to me. I'm assuming that each of the various tests that they give (e.g., the yes/no questionnaire of brain and physical development) are each around a hundred bucks. Couldn't my insurance company just arrange that I take the test online for $10?

Hmmm.. there are many reasons why healthcare in this country is so expensive (and so inaccessible to those who don't have insurance.) While I haven't done enough reading to have a guess as to whether reform will actually work without a large federal subsidy, I admire our president for taking it on. I also don't have much background on how the reform proposals intend to address some of the misaligned incentives in health care utilization, provision, and management in this country, but I am excited that someone has touched the third rail and gotten the discussion going.

There goes the neighborhood

2009-08-28T22:04:00.000-07:00

When I was in my late twenties, I developed a penchant for Elmo. I hadn't actually spent a lot of time watching Elmo, but there was something very cute about the toddler sized muppet who spoke like a 2 year old.

Olivia's arrival led me to actually WATCH Sesame Street, and I now see the error of my ways. That little red monster is nearly as annoying as Barney. (He actually is MORE annoying than Barney if you account for the annoying factor of the 'Mr. Noodle' sidekick.)

Sesame Street has deteriorated -- and it's Elmo's fault. Elmo's popularity led the Sesame Street producers to dumb down the characters. In the old Sesame Street, characters had adult vocabularies and were presented in adult contexts. The new cast of muppets now act and speak like 4 year olds. A new muppet is introduced at approximately the same rate as Starbucks introduces a new flavored coffee.

Other signs of the Elmofication of Sesame Street -- the Odd Couple schtick between Ernie and Bert has been replaced by claymation fantasy videos, Frog on the street Kermit is nowhere to be seen, and Cookie Monster eats vegetables.

According to the New York Times, the DVD release of Old School Sesame Street actually contains a warning that the material may not be suitable for toddlers.

There goes the neighborhood.

Olivia learns how to bargain

2009-08-27T10:08:00.000-07:00

(this is a rerun of a video spencer posted to Facebook.)

So that she can be a good Asian woman, we are teaching Olivia how to bargain from an early age.

(And a side poll, who is appalled that we let her drop the toothbrush on the floor and put it back in her mouth?)

Olivia making the chicken sound

2009-08-26T12:03:00.000-07:00

Kids want to be like their parents

2009-08-25T11:16:00.000-07:00

It's cute how kids like to do what they see their parents doing. We visited friends this weekend, they are both excellent cooks and always make nice meals and desserts each time we visit. They told us that their daughter loves to play in her play kitchen, it will entertain her for hours to pretend to cook a meal with her small pots and pans. We also have friends who love to go cycling, their kids love to put on their bike helmets and ride their training bikes.

What does it say about us that Olivia's new hobby is, uh, well see for yourself.

Another one of Olivia's new hobbies is to put herself into bed. She climbs onto the couch or our bed, puts her head on a pillow, tucks herself under a blanket then start singing the 'nighty night' lullaby that we often sing to her when we are putting to sleep. This would be great if she was putting herself to bed at 8 pm. Unfortunately, her 'bedtime' routine usually occurs immediately after breakfast.

Some new pics for the Luhs

2009-08-19T10:51:00.000-07:00

We took Olivia to the 'Little farm' at Tilden park this weekend. We saw cows, chickens, sheep, and goats (which she was scared of.) As you can see in these pics, Olivia is getting very big.

Olivia continues to enjoy fastening fastex buckles. Hmm, maybe I should have invested in that $25 pillow after all. Well, it's too late now (by the time it arrives, the phase will have passed.)

Olivia also enjoys climbing back into bed after breakfast and tucking herself under the covers.

How do I get this job?

2009-08-10T12:57:00.000-07:00

Here's my dream job.

I volunteer to map the South of France. Or anywhere in Italy.

It's that time of year again

2009-08-09T21:30:00.000-07:00

The pear tree is exploding with pears, and they are starting to fall off the tree. It's that time of year that I ignore Olivia while I peel, purees, bake, and search for pear recipes online.

Aspirational mom

2009-08-01T22:04:00.000-07:00

When I was young and in grad school, I read a lot of outdoor and travel magazines with aspirations of being able to paddle down big rivers or climb mountains. When I was single and working full time, I read a lot of gourmand blogs and lifestyle magazines with aspirations of having a stylish life of eating at cool restaurants and having a well decorated apartment where I threw cool parties. Now that I am am a parent, I find myself reading parenting blogs to kill time. I guess that's all I relate to nowadays. And wow, if I felt deficient that I didn't have time to fly to South America to climb or was always really disorganized when I threw parties, some of these moms really put me to shame. The fact that they can even maintain blogs on top of what they are doing is amazing. There's this blogger, who makes super cute box lunches for her kid. And these bloggers who blog about crafts, activities, and family outings.

It was this blog that planted the seed that I want a crock pot. Will a crock pot be like the electric teakettle that my brother bought us last year, an item that I can't believe I ever lived without? Or will this be like the kayak which I bought, but then only used 2 seasons.

I went through a phase of coveting an immersion blender (one of my friends planted the seed in my head that I could make my own organic baby food, not to mention delicious creamed soups and purees.) And also a sewing machine phase when I thought I could turn my old sweaters into cute felted wool baby dresses (damn you Martha Stewart.) Hopefully this too will pass.

By the way, I still aspire to get on the bay with my kayak. And I still kind of want an immersion blender.

Olivia 7.31

2009-08-01T22:03:00.000-07:00

Olivia's shoe

2009-07-27T23:14:00.000-07:00

Olivia had a fun time with the Knight family in San Diego over the weekend. She visited her great grandparents and her great aunt and uncle. She flew down with her grandparents and met Spencer and Julian, who had driven to San Diego via the coast.

One of the highlights of her trip was a trip to the San Diego zoo, where she saw pandas, giraffes, elephants, and hippos (her favorite.)

One of the downsides of the trip occurred while they were looking at the Desert Rat exhibit. One of Olivia's shoes fell off and fell into the rat cage. Oops. As people familiar with Olivia know, she LOVES her shoes. From the second the shoe fell into the cage, she cried 'Shoe.' She was so inconsolable that Spencer had to carry her kicking and screaming 'Shoes, Shoes' from the park (apparently, 1.5 miles back to their car in the parking lot.) Poor Spencer is exhausted from carrying her with one hand and pushing the stroller with the other. (Too bad he didn't think of leaving the stroller with Julian and the other kids until he was 1/2way out of the park.)

How much is a RT ticket to San Diego?

2009-07-25T11:41:00.000-07:00

I dropped Olivia off on Thursday for a long weekend in San Diego with her grandparents. Spencer drove down the coast and had planned catch up with them on Friday, but got delayed and met up with them this morning. When I asked Spencer how Olivia was doing, he said "I think she's mad at me, she hasn't said a word since I've arrived." Which made me very sad. It was sad enough that she whimpered when I put her into the back seat of the car with grandma and grandpa, it was even sadder to see her wave goodbye from the back seat with a sad look in her face. Thinking that the normally talkative and social Olivia is speechless breaks my heart.

Olivia 7.21

2009-07-21T22:21:00.000-07:00

Spencer is on vacation, and I promised him daily photos of Olivia while he was gone.

Here is Olivia with her latest find from Spencer's garden. Yes, we know we are supposed to leave the carrots alone. We couldn't resist.

A photo for scale.

I fought it, but resorted to electric babysitter when I had to respond to some requests from my office.

Olivia brushing her teeth.

Our last dinner out (really)

2009-07-21T11:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, we are not eating out anymore. Not even a casual restaurant. You know how you go to restaurants and see the kids sitting quietly in their high chairs, maybe with a little food on their face? Well, Olivia is not that kid.

It's bad enough that she whines for soda if someone at the table orders soda (don't get me started. This is a debate between Spencer and me.) Now she has started whining/screaming for beer or any other liquid that arrives at the table.

A dinner out inevitably becomes an evening of taking turns walking Olivia around outside while the other person eats by him or herself. (Hmmm, eating out is starting to sound good -- the part where we get to eat by ourself, that is.)

Cute photo

2009-07-19T18:45:00.000-07:00

Look at this cute photo of Olivia with Spencer!

Olivia's new hobby

2009-07-19T13:04:00.000-07:00

Olivia's latest hobby is playing with fastex clips. She will fasten the clips on anything she can find in the house -- high chair, bike helmets, my backpack.

I was feeling aspirational (as I often do) and was thinking about what a cool idea it would be to buy a bunch of Fastex clips and sew them into a toy just for Olivia to play with. (I often have aspirations to sew things. Thank goodness I don't have a sewing machine otherwise I'd probably be living in a house full of sewing supplies but no started (or completed) projects. That's when I found this company. Apparently someone else's kid also loved fastening buckles.

I'm not going to spend $19.95 on this buckle toy though. Like most things, I suspect that the buckles will get old fast. And I'm confused how this can provide hours of entertainment if the kid can't unclip the buckles by himself or herself.

The Joyce Blog

2009-07-18T14:41:00.000-07:00

Should I continue maintaining this blog? We've figured out how to Skype with my parents, so we now have an easy way of getting the images of Olivia back and forth to the east coast grandparents. I'm kind of a private person, so am never going to share special family moments on this blog (the way that this blogger does) Olivia is past the point where there are any interesting milestones -- she's already crawled, taken her first steps, said a few words, learned how to feed herself, got her driver's license, and has been to the senior prom. Well, she hasn't done all of those things yet, but it's doubtful that I will write about those things on a public facing website (do I really want those ugly prom pictures to come back and haunt her later in life?)

I have to admit that the blog is a fun place for me to rant about the occurrences in my daily life (although 97% of the time I edit or delete my post in fear that the idiot at the grocery store will not only find my blog, but be the hiring manager at some job I am applying for 5 years from now.) And I do occasionally write humorous postings about parenting (although, I have deleted all of those postings in fear that people will think that I am a terrible parent or that my mom will call to scold me.) Did anyone enjoy last year's pear segment? My life really is that boring. And if it wasn't that boring, I probably wouldn't be posting it on a public facing blog.

Just as I was about to hit 'post,' my sister called to tell me that my mom and her both think it's cute that Olivia isn't scared of bubbles and loves carousels. So I suppose that I should continue keeping this blog, for now. And pear season is right around the corner...

Olivia and Julian

2009-07-16T05:37:00.000-07:00

Olivia loves to play with her big brother Julian. Julian took Olivia to visit some of his friends on Monday and they taught Olivia how to blow bubbles. When it came time to leave, I had to drag Olivia away kicking and screaming. She was beside herself with frustration and sadness the entire car trip home.

This past weekend, Spencer took Olivia and Julian to the Giants County Fair (at the parking lot of the ballpark.) Julian and Spencer took Olivia onto the carousel, which she loved. She loved it so much that she made Spencer ride a second time (at $5/pop, it was an expensive habit to develop.)

Julian is a kind and helpful big brother, taking care of Olivia and spending a lot of time playing with her. She is lucky to have such a great role model and brother.

Olivia Turlington

2009-07-06T19:15:00.000-07:00

We had heard from a friend that Ford Models does monthly open casting calls for child models. When I first heard about this, I couldn't wait to check it out. This is one of many activities that my single friends without kids can't do. Sure, they can climb mountains, sleep in on weekends, go for 100 mile bike rides, and sleep on planes, but they don't have access to the people watching that would go on at a child model audition.

I am picturing a room full of kids with runny noses wearing makeup and earrings and their overbearing stage moms. I am picturing talent scouts who got into the business because they thought they'd get to spend their days with leggy 20 year olds but were instead assigned to the 'Junior scouting' division.

Then I checked out the website and found the catch. 'Bring pictures.'

That caused me to take an objective look at some of Olivia's baby pictures. In hindsight, my parental bias is pretty clear. In many pictures of the 'cutest baby ever' (e.g., the one below), she looks more like an angry Korean man than the next face of Pampers.

Well, modeling is probably not in Olivia's future. But we are taking her for an audition for the film version of the short story "The Curious Case of Young Sook Park"

Sarah Palin, resigning?!?!

2009-07-05T13:44:00.000-07:00

I was dismayed to learn yesterday that Sarah Palin was resigning. '30 Rock' is one of the finer programs on television, and the show certainly won't be the same without her.

BPA

2009-07-01T22:02:00.000-07:00

The California legislature recently passed a bill outlawing BPA in children's toys and bottles. This prompted a media swell from BPA detractors and manufacturers.

One NPR commentator mentioned some studies (or hypotheses) linking excessive BPA exposure to early onset puberty.

I knew that BPA has been linked to some health issues, but didn't worry about it too much, thinking that Olivia was going to have a base level of exposure to environmental and other toxins being raised during this century and that I was willing to take a calculated risk in order to reduce my level of stress and daily neuroses.

But if I needed a kick in the seat to worry about BPA, the threat of early adolescence was it. Adolescence was tough enough for me (and my parents), I would do anything I could to prevent 4 extra years of adolescence.

We definitely used a number of non-BPA free bottles. Who would have thought that the $12 Phillips Avent bottles made in England had BPA? We also bought a number of the gimmicky 'simulated breast' bottles, and bought cheap bottles at the drugstore when we were late for daycare or dropping her off at her grandparents' house. (As I've commented previously, for as many baby stores as there are in Berkeley, it's hard to find one that actually sells baby supplies.) And I'm pretty sure that the daycare ladies have a stash of BPA bottles.

Ironically, the highest level of BPA exposure Olivia has had has probably come from my breast milk.

Stay tuned to this blog in about 9 years for the longitudinal evidence from one subject (who has also been exposed to pesticides, bovine growth hormone, and lead. Hey, we aren't running a controlled test here.)

Surfing the parenting web so that you don't have to

2009-07-01T19:50:00.000-07:00

For lack of blog material, over the next few weeks I'll be bringing you highlights and my personal take of issues from the parenting web. On the many nights that I can't sleep and don't have the mental energy for anything more taxing than People Magazine, I turn to the parenting web.

We'll start with the first entry to SFGate Parenting Blog -- Judgmental Parent Roundtable #1 Leave your baby at home!

The great thing about the posts is that they are written to evoke comments from, uh, judgmental parents. As a bonus round, we also get comments from child haters.

My stance on the bringing kids to restaurants debate... Generally, we try to not bring Olivia to restaurants but for our own sanity more than worrying about other patrons. When we do dine out with her, we try to choose casual restaurants. And I try to leave a tip greater than 20% to compensate for the non-paying patron. Which probably still isn't enough given that the servers probably have to clean the floor after we leave in spite of my efforts to keep the food contained and pick up the pieces that I can get with the napkin. I can't stand the parents who think it's the servers job to deal with the mess their kids leave behind.

Olivia's words

2009-06-27T09:53:00.000-07:00

Here are the words Olivia seems to be able to use

At 17 months, she was using:

Bye bye
Shoes
Book
Ba ba (daddy)
More
No
Uh oh
Baby
Xie xie (thank you in Mandarin, this is Spencer's favorite, as she says it with a very sweet voice)
Done

And at 20 months, she has developed usage of the below words (some on a very limited basis.)

Hai yo: I want more (in Mandarin)
Hi
Duck
Car
Dog
Feet
Outside
El-Mo
Diaper
Na na (Banana)
Ball
Down
Cheese

She still doesn't say 'Ma ma' with any regularity. She might be a little slow relative to other kids her age, but I think this is one of the costs of daycare vs nanny. We had thought about getting her a nanny until preschool, but she is extremely happy at her current daycare, and there are other kids that she can play with.

We'll be heading to the library this weekend to check out some new board books, Babar, Richard Scarry, ... Send me your comments on the words that we should be teaching her and books I should be reading to her.

Olivia, after

2009-06-26T09:51:00.000-07:00

today

(Note, this is a movie, albeit not a very interesting one.)

Olivia, before and after

2009-06-13T22:08:00.000-07:00

First, the 'before' pictures. These pictures were taken by the people who come to your hospital room after the baby is born, then try to sell you the shots for $32/shot. Spencer figured out how to copy them from the site for free.

From New Folder

Dragonboating

2009-06-12T14:43:00.001-07:00

Last weekend, I joined my company team in a dragonboat race at Jack London Square.

Here are some other things we've been up to since my last post:

Gardening (well, Spencer, not me. I've never been into gardening)
Trying to stop making excuses and to start exercising again. It really does get harder the longer you stop. It gets even harder when you know that you need to avoid achy muscles and exhaustion in order to have the strength it takes to handle the baby.
Dealing with 19 months of bank statements (I haven't opened an envelope from the bank since Olivia was born.

Is Breastfeeding the new Vacuum Cleaner?

2009-05-06T21:42:00.000-07:00

This article in the April Atlantic Magazine opens with the question of whether breastfeeding is "this generation's vacuum cleaner - an instrument of misery that mostly keeps women down."

I eagerly anticipated the May Atlantic to see the letters from the breastfeeding mafia. Alas, no letters in the May issue.

I mostly disagree with the author that society and medical professionals pressure women to breastfeed and pump. Most of my friends who are breastfeeding do it because they love it. My friends who didn't enjoy breastfeeding were not pressured to continue.

The article did provoke me to think about pumping and social class. How would a factory worker be able to take breaks every 3 hours in order to pump? All that pumping stuff is expensive -- the pump itself is about $200-$300. We borrowed a pump but ended up spending about a hundred bucks on extra parts and pieces (tubes, attachments, various little plastic thingies.) And we must have spent a few hundred dollars on storage bags -- a box of 50 bags was $20 and I was blowing through at least 4-6 bags a day before I clued in on the reusable bottles. (Not that I was producing a ton of milk, I was pumping and freezing a few pathetic tablespoons 2-3 times a day.) And don't forget another $6000 for plastic surgery, nursing for 9 months is like 40 years of gravity.

Olivia visits the dentist

2009-05-05T23:48:00.000-07:00

We took Olivia to the dentist a couple weeks ago. When they initially told me that we needed to start taking Olivia to the dentist as soon as she had teeth, I thought to myself "Wow, dentists must be feeling the sting of the economic downturn." My parents don't remember taking us to the dentist, nor do they remember brushing our teeth when we were babies. On the other hand, my parents spent a lot of money for fillings with our baby teeth.

What goes on at an 18 month old's dentist appointment? As I suspected, they did not scrape the tartar off her teeth or lecture her on flossing. It was pretty much a 4 minute appointment where the dentist counted her teeth then gave Spencer instructions on how to brush Olivia's teeth. Ka ching!

More movies from Margaret: Easton, PA

2009-04-27T21:38:00.000-07:00

Here is Olivia talking.

"More!"

saying nothing in particular:

Olivia missed her father - and saw a photo of a baby:

"BABA" for and "BABY"

My mom taught her this:

Saying "She She" (Chinese for Thank you!). And my dad taught her to say "Zhu Zhu" but we don't have a video of that.

CLOTHESHORSE

In her favorite sneakers:

In her favorite pajamas. Apparently she handed the shirt to my mother to dress her in in the morning, and my mother said - "but Olivia, this is sleeperwear!" Instead, Olivia carried the shirt around all morning and showed it to everyone:

And Joyce said that when she went back to CA, she found a new raincoat in her drawer, and brought it to Joyce to dress her in it. She wore it around the house all morning.

SFGate bloggers (and commenters) on babies on planes

2009-04-22T04:05:00.000-07:00

This post in an sfgate blog suggests that if overweight people are charged an additional fee to travel, parents with babies should also be charged.

"My friend who recently flew United made the point that children under ~~three~~ two fly for free, and they take up as much space as someone's unwanted body fat—and they certainly make more noise. Emissions-wise, having a child is also more profligate than being overweight."

I always love the article that sparks the clever commenters.

e.g.
"Also, kid-haters: Go apologize to your mothers. And don't ever date someone 20 years younger than you, or complain because there aren't enough orderlies to flip your bedsore-ridden @ss in the nursing home. We need a next generation, you know."

"It would be nice if flying on airplanes was a more pleasant experience. It would also be nice if I didn't have to work for a paycheck. ... Of course, no one should ever fly United in the first place, anyway, so this whole debate is moot."

"airplane seats are manufactured by the same folks who manufacture manacles, leg irons, racks, guillotines, thumb screws, eye gougers and Brittany Spears CD's."

"I think discrimination is bad but most people (including people on this board) are stupid - can't we charge them more since they tend to take longer to figure things out...."

My personal reaction to this article? I like this blogger because he provides further proof that we need journalists (with editors) delivering our news, not bloggers. If you're trying to make a point about C02 emissions and fuel costs, the annoyance factor is irrelevant. Maybe United's next policy should be to charge people as they deplaned for how annoying they were during the flight.

And in defense of the overweight passengers (who probably suffer as much pre-flight anxiety as people bringing children... I took a flight last year where I was seated between two pretty large people, I don't recall their body mass overlapping into my seat. If anything, they were far more considerate than the people I've sat next to who let their elbows overflow across the armrest.

Olivia visiting Pennsylvania

2009-04-16T19:28:00.001-07:00

Olivia is having a fun time visiting the Luhs in Pennsylvania. Mom and Dad were busy all week cooking for us and getting the house ready for Olivia's visit. Margaret made a special trip back from New York and Jim drove up from Washington DC. We were all looking forward to a relaxing week hanging out with Olivia.

Unfortunately for everyone, hanging out with Olivia is the opposite of relaxing. She has kept everyone on our feet. Yesterday, Mom, Margaret, and Dad had to take shifts to take a nap while Olivia was no worse for wear.

During this trip, Olivia

is getting spoiled with lots of new clothes, toys, and yummy food to eat
is discovering that she loves pineapple and strawberries
loves the flexible bridge at the playground, doesn't like swings
was terrified of an eye that fell off one of her toys while she was in the bathtub
loved the car shaped strollers at the mall.
was scared of bubbles
only fell out of the bed once
well, twice, but who's counting?

More tips on traveling with toddler

2009-04-14T22:04:00.000-07:00

Here is a post with my tips from my latest adventure of traveling with a toddler.

Buy a seat.

Olivia's 15 month Pediatrician Well Visit

2009-04-11T17:05:00.000-07:00

Olivia had her late 15 month well visit this week. Here are the results of the well visit:
Height: 32 inches (50-75th percentile)
Weight 21.3 (10-25th percentile)
Head circumference: 48 cm (90th percentile)

I don't believe much in these numbers, I can't see how they can get an accurate height measurement while the baby is wriggling and squirming (they always seem to measure along the hypotenuse, which drives me crazy.) This was confirmed for me this time when the nurse came back to measure the head a second time (her first measurement yielded a head circumference smaller than the last visit.) My friend tells me that her pediatrician doesn't even bother measuring height anymore (due to measurement errors.)

It was interesting that according to the scale, Olivia weighed less than she did at her last doctor visit. This is likely due to having an empty bladder, as well as having just had the flu last week.

Olivia is growing well, but apparently lagging in language and communication development. More on that in my next post.

Olivia goes to Macy's

2009-04-10T12:35:00.001-07:00

We took Olivia to Macy's this week to see the Flower Show.

"Daddy, sit here and we can find a bronzer for that pasty complexion of yours"

"Okay, let's try the Clinique counter instead"

"Wow, I get all that for free if I spend only $30 on a tube of lipstick? I'll take 4"

More Highlights from BPN...

2009-04-08T14:55:00.000-07:00

Berkeley Parents Network is always good for a laugh, cry, or opportunity to be snarky.

In this case, I am wondering if I can write to 'No car, no love' to get this guy's number.

Dating Younger Man W/Out a Car!
-------------------------------------------
I met a 23 year old. He is very nice, chivalrous, intelligent, funny and ambitious. We had a wonderful first date and he has asked me for a second. Despite his age, I have really started to like him. He is PRE-Law and has 2 part time jobs. But,
he just told me he has no car, by choice.... He has been a gentleman and could be a great prospect, if only he had a car, then I could probably deal with the age and college thing. Would it be shallow of me to not want to date him because he is a 23 year old undergrad without a car? No car, no love?

CRS

2009-03-11T21:01:00.000-07:00

I booked a flight to visit my parents earlier this week. For the return trip, I decided to diversify the risk of sitting next to someone who hated toddlers (or worse, had a toddler of their own.) I booked a flight with a connection in the midwest. The flight I chose had a connection through IAD, which looked good to me. I figured that Indianapolis was a small regional hub and I've always had great success flying through regional hubs like Minneapolis and Cleveland.

My father pointed out that IAD is actually Dulles International. I have no idea why I thought IAD was Indianapolis. I'm a pretty savvy traveler and have booked plenty of my own plane tickets, including flights to visit friends and relatives in DC. I blame it on parental dementia, or 'CRS' as my friend Andrea calls it (can't remember s%$#) I'm hoping I can change the flight, as flying through IAD introduces the worst of two worlds -- a long cross country flight AND a potential issue during the layover.

Bay Area Public Transit

2009-03-11T12:30:00.001-07:00

A coworker today told me about a new luxury commuter bus running the Marin-SF line. I should note that I love taking the bus (and hate driving,) so I'd always be game for a new bus line.

On that note, one of the big problems with Bay Area Public Transit is a failure to coordinate across the various systems. It does seem pretty ridiculous that Golden Gate Transit essentially drives a bunch of busses downtown, leaves them there all day, then has the same driver drive them back at the end of the day. Maybe San Francisco could think of a way to lease those busses from GGT during the day. It's also ridiculuous that if I wanted to commute from my house to my office in San Francisco, I'd have to take 3 separate transit systems and pay three fares. (It would cost me $1.75 + $3.50 + $1.50)

Another fun Bay Area transit tradition is Casual Carpool (which we drive every day.) There are designated areas where commuters can line up to be picked up by drivers driving into the city. It used to be a casual word of mouth thing, but it's organized now to the point of having a website.

More on traveling with infant.

2009-03-04T18:36:00.000-08:00

My father sent me this article from the NYTimes Frugal traveler blog today.

I have to scoff at yet another recommendation to travel with a bag full of wrapped toys? We are lucky to make it to the gate on time with enough diapers and clothes for the flight. During one flight within Asia, we even forgot to bring an extra pair of pants for Olivia (of course, she wet her first pair.) Several colleagues have recommended portable DVD players or iPods with movies. But I could see the baby crying (loudly) when the thing runs out of batteries. And how do they use the headphones? (I suppose the visual stimulation is enough.)

I'm in the midst of planning another trip with Olivia. I guess I should start wrapping presents for her now.

Olivia loves her brother

2009-03-04T05:20:00.000-08:00

traveling with baby

2009-03-01T15:27:00.000-08:00

I took several domestic trips alone with Olivia last year, and a trans continental trip on which Spencer accompanied me. I've had several friends ask me for advice about traveling with baby recently. So I don't forget, I'm writing a blog post about tips for traveling with baby.

Travel early and often: Between 4 months and 9 months seemed like the easiest time to travel (once the body was a bit solid, the poops less frequent, but while they were still happy being held in your lap.) In many ways, traveling with baby is EASIER than traveling without a baby. For one, on a trans-continental flight, you are likely to be offered the bulkhead seat. Much nicer than sitting with some guys' tray table in your lap for 14 hours. Better yet, you'll probably get a bassinet seat. There are other perks -- using the first class line in security. And don't forget that once your kid turns 2, you'll be plunking down $600 to get him or her across the country.

Minimize transfers: The hardest part of traveling solo with baby is dealing with the transfers. Getting up and down escalators or in and out of busses with baby AND luggage. Trips where you have someone meeting you on the other end are very doable. Getting a Eurail pass and backpacking across Europe will probably have to wait.

Play luggage roulette: It's much easier to check your bag in than to try to navigate through the airport with extra luggage.

Bringing the stroller/carseat to the gate?: The wheels are nice to have if you're traveling solo, it's nice to have a place to put the baby down when you use the lavatory or wash your hands while waiting for your flight (I have been luckly that I have never had a significantly delayed flight while traveling solo with Olivia.) But it is hassle to deal with luggage, baby, and stroller through security and boarding. After a couple trips, I started skipping the stroller and just using the soft carrier. If you are bringing stroller, the easiest thing to do is to also bring a Bjorn or other soft carrier and wear the baby through security while pushing the stroller (with your diaper bag in the stroller seat.) Now that Olivia is bigger, I will probably start bringing the stroller again.

What to bring on board:

Bjorn or other soft carrier.
1.5-2x the number of diapers and wipes that you estimate you need for the flight.
Plastic bags in which to dispose of used diapers
2 extra sets of clothing for child
one extra set of clothes for yourself
Water bottle (those plastic cups are an extra hassle with a baby in your lap.)
A small bag to put under the seat which holds diapers and wipes.
Herbal tea bags (you get dehydrated and cold nursing like I did)

Other travel thoughts:

Wear clogs or slip off shoes
If possible, don't carry a computer.
As long as your baby carrier doesn't have metal buckles, you can wear it through the metal detector.
If your baby needs changing within 10 minutes of boarding time, either wait to do it on the plane or discretely change the diaper at the gate (yeah, the other passengers don't want to see it, but I almost missed a flight because of a line at the changing station and a triple poop.)
Nurse during takeoff and landing to prevent earaches for the baby.
Aisle seats are easier than window
Change the diapers in the bathroom, not at the seat. Yeah, we broke this rule on our first trip with Olivia, but we weren't wise to the ways of being parents yet.

More from Margaret - from my visit to Berkeley

2009-03-01T11:29:00.001-08:00

Spencer and Julian in Japantown - - -

and Olivia's approval:

Daycare conundrum

2009-02-26T03:47:00.000-08:00

I've been getting a belated case of working mom guilt. I admit it, I used to call Saturday the new Monday.

Olivia started daycare very early -- she was 3 months old when I went back to work full time. We found her a facility that we were pretty happy with, she was the baby girl and got a lot of attention and love from the caregivers.

Now that Olivia is entering the developmental phase, I wonder if we should be trying to find a situation where she gets more one on one interaction and playtime. Googling 'Nanny vs daycare,' I found this article.

It raises some interesting points, with a nanny you are making a commitment to another person. It's kind of like dating, except that it's not very easy to break up. And you can't spend years looking for Nanny Right. Nannies who are energetic, engaged with the kids, and committed to helping the child develop emotionally and socially are few and far between, as evidenced by the new trend of nanny poaching.

I think the best thing I could do is find a way to work a shorter day. Or to try to find someone to take care of Olivia for a few hours after work.

Amateur Parenting

O's trip to the pediatrician (1-25-11)

Holiday videos

Is this the end of O's ski career?

Christmas Tree

Dinner helper

Yesterday

Guest Blogger Margaret Visits Again

video from 11/4

Where is O developmentally?

10/3

O the _fill in the blank_

O-isms, April 2010

Counting with Olivia

I'm sorry

Olivia Milestones, Q1 2010

The return of GUEST BLOGGER Margaret

Parenting is hard

Crotchety ranting: "Architecture"

The latest adventures of the breast feeding mafia

Sleep Training, and other unnecessary parenting worries

Oliviaisms: Eating

Bad Mother?

Classic Tantrums: My lunch

Rookie move

Classic Tantrum Episode #1: My Spinach

Oliviaisms: Pizza and the Reverse Atkins diet

New Feature -- Classic Tantrums

Spencer Scissorhands

More SFgate fun

Olivia-isms: The reprimanding finger

Bridge to Nowhere

Move over Elmo

Etsy and Regretsy

Kids on planes, part II

Sweeps week debate -- kids on planes

"Reading" with Olivia

Olivia picture

Olivia's first art project

Olivia

Olivia starts a new daycare

Update -- Olivia Halloween

More highlights from BPN

More Videos from Guest Blogger Margaret

GUEST BLOGGER: Margaret

More highlights from Margaret's visit

More material for Olivia's future therapy sessions

Sesame Street

Bad Mother

I have too much time on my hands.

There goes Daddy's plan to learn German

Olivia bedtime routine

Guest Blogger: Spencer

Pics from the weekend

Maybe this will cure Olivia of her Elmo addiction

Chapter 22: I learn why you don't bring kids to the store

Potty training?

Towel

Olivia's Pediatrician Appt (August 20)

There goes the neighborhood

Olivia learns how to bargain

Olivia making the chicken sound

Kids want to be like their parents

Some new pics for the Luhs

How do I get this job?

It's that time of year again

Aspirational mom

Olivia 7.31

Olivia's shoe

How much is a RT ticket to San Diego?

Olivia 7.21

Our last dinner out (really)

Cute photo

Olivia's new hobby

The Joyce Blog

Olivia and Julian

Olivia Turlington

Sarah Palin, resigning?!?!

BPA

Surfing the parenting web so that you don't have to