Every day is a contest ...
Event #1: 100 M dash: In this event, you'll be matched against the 41 Muni Bus. If you can beat the bus to the stop, you will be spared a 20 minute delay in starting the next event.
Event #2: Weight Lifting: 100 reps of lifting 22 lb mass. Tie breaker ... Add another 20 reps with the 22lb mass inside the 10 lb car seat.
Event #3: Wrestling: In this variation of Greco-Roman wrestling, you'll be matched with a 22 lb infant. The loser of this round will end up with a diaper around their bottom.
Event #4: Dramatic Arts: In this event, you will find something else that is more important or that you can't be pulled away from in hopes that your spouse will change the poopy diaper.
Event #5: 100 M hurdles: In this event, you'll sprint through the house while stepping over toys, dirty dishes, and recycling.
Event #6: Hunting and gathering: In this event, you are given an outing (might be a wedding, baby shower, or a trip to Target,) and 6 minutes to assemble a baby bag suitable for the outing. This involves finding clean clothes, sippie cup, diapers, wipes, toys, blankets. You can increase the degree of difficulty by adding perishable items such as breast milk to the mix (although there are significant penalties for leaving the milk on the countertop.)
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